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Ami's Obsessions

You Know You're a Good Eats/Alton Brown fan When...

...You have AB icons.

...You've ever referred to him as "AB."

...You have an AB mood theme.

...You have AB wallpaper.

...In your ROOM.

...You know exactly where to find the kosher salt at the Megamart.

...Your cellphone has a Good Eats ringtone.

...You know exactly what season the episode is from, based on his hair/clothing/etc.

...You know how many pairs of glasses he has and can describe each in detail. You even have a favourite.

...You refer to your annoying sister as "Marsha," (even though her name is Sue) and refer to all four of her sons (and two daughters) as "Elton"

...You've ever shouted "UNITASKER!" at an object in your kitchen.

...You take offense to the above: 'What would a unitasker be doing in MY kitchen???

...You've ever shouted "UNITASKER!" at your sister, then only to realize that sleeping and eating are two separate things, so she is not actually one.

...You've ever randomly repeated the always alluring alliteration not uncommonly uttered by U-no-who.

...Waffleman is your favourite superhero.

...You know what a lipo protein is.

...You watch Iron Chef America for one reason and one reason only... and it's a pretty safe bet that reason isn't Bobby Flay.

...Out of instinct you look around when someone mentions the Dutch, afraid that creepy chick is behind you.

...You've ever gone to Canada for cheese.

...You were disappointed when all 60 parts of "Say Cheese" weren't aired.

...Your significant other has ever been jealous of how much you like "that Alton guy."

...And you're a straight MAN.
 
...You've tried to paint flames on your mixer.

...You've ever referred to anyone as "Zapato."
...You've ever wanted to make a banana leaf pterodactyl
 
...You've ever mixed things in "teams," (and always knew when to add something to the party)
...Your spouse/etc. steals tools out of the kitchen to use in the garage.
 
...You've ever sent your sister off to buy you a Sand-O-Squeeze 3000.
...You don't need one because you know exactly how to make a sandwich press yourself!

...when you try to explain to your dinner guests that the entire history of the potato. (amejisuto)

...when you buy a special heating pad for making yogurt.
(amejisuto)

...when you stop eating jello because you now know how gelatin is made and it kind of freaks you out.
(amejisuto)

....when you actually name your pizza paddle Emma Peel II.
(amejisuto)

...when you start explaining what you're doing as you cook, even though no one else is in the kitchen.
(amejisuto)
 
--you decided last July to take the day off *next* July should Alton come back to your local county fair
[info]aoudafogg

--you can explain just WHY kosher salt is so important
[info]aoudafogg

--you imagine a huge tongue with locks in it anytime you go to buy a jalepeno.
[info]aoudafogg

--you've made friends with your butcher *wg*
[info]aoudafogg
 
... You explain to your friends why a raw food vegan diet is less beneficial, going so far as to explain things about beta carotene and lycopene.
[info]punkin_queen

... There are welding gloves in your kitchen, and a pizza stone in the oven at all times.

-when you spend 20 minutes talking about the importance of correct searing and letting the meat rest.
[info]cargoddess


-you've used the words "oh, bother" in a sentence.
[info]cargoddess


-you go off on someone for not tasting for proper seasoning before they salt the heck out of their food.
[info]cargoddess


-you continue to go off on them for using table salt instead of Kosher.
[info]cargoddess


-when you enter the kitchen section of a store or go into a kitchen supply store, you begin humming James Bond music.
[info]cargoddess

... you sometimes never finish a sentence and look around when the theme music doesn't start. [info]antiwesley

...you've made sock puppet yeast.
[info]andsheewas

...you've ever told your husband that if AB ever gets divorced/becomes a widower, your marriage will be in jeopardy.[info]txplumwine

...you included AB on the list when you did the "10 people I would do" meme.[info]txplumwine

...you've created (if not actually played) a drinking game based on Good Eats. (AB says "That's Good Eats" - sip. "That's NOT Good Eats" - 2 sips. "Oh bother" - sip. "But that's another show" - swig. "That's not...well, you know" - sip. W appears - slam a shot.)[info]txplumwine

...you frequently mention what ___ "brings to the party" - and it has nothing to do with a potluck dinner.[info]txplumwine

...you have a cutting board labeled "poultry"
[info]thefoodsnob

...more than 1/2 your kitchen gadgets come from the hardware store
[info]thefoodsnob

...you have a Grind-O-Matic 5000
[info]thefoodsnob

...you knew exactly what the Grind-O-Matic 5000 is
[info]thefoodsnob

...your spice tins are hung on your cabinet doors by velcro
[info]thefoodsnob

...your cake pans are hung on cabinet doors by magnets
[info]thefoodsnob

...you refer to Emeril, Rachael Raye and Bobby Flay as the unholy trinity.
[info]thefoodsnob

...you drive over an hour away to shop at grocery stores that are frequented in the show
[info]thefoodsnob

...your measuring cups and the equipment you used for high school chemistry are one and the same
[info]thefoodsnob

...if you have a cold smoker made out of a locker
[info]thefoodsnob

...if you have ever hot smoked a salmon in a cardboard box
[info]thefoodsnob

...if you've ever made your own liquid smoke.
[info]thefoodsnob

...if you know how to make your own liquid smoke just at the thought
[info]thefoodsnob

...if you have 3 or more types of salt, not including table salt, and know what to do with them
[info]thefoodsnob

...if you have considered naming your next child Alton
[info]thefoodsnob

...you call everyone working at the Kitchen Gadget Store "W"
[info]thefoodsnob


...if your monthly menu is made up of more than 99% Good Eats recipes...If you've caught yourself humming "Danger Zone" when working with poultry.
[info]thefoodsnob

...If you keep a spray bottle of bleach solution in your kitchen for cleaning.
[info]thefoodsnob

...If you've ever inverted a pumpkin pie to cut it.
[info]thefoodsnob

...If when reading that you yelled at your computer, "It wasn't a pumpkin pie it was a SWEET POTATO pie!"
[info]thefoodsnob

...If you are ashamed that you have the wrong waffle iron (I have the one he said won't get the waffles crispy cuz it takes too much power to do so... but I think that it does get the waffles crispy!)
[info]thefoodsnob

...If you know what waffle iron I have.
[info]thefoodsnob

...If your 4 year old child hums the "Good Eats" theme and responds to you when you say, "cause after all... ______ is..." with "Good Eats!"
[info]thefoodsnob

...You always have your mis en place
[info]wrmgrl

...You know what mis en place is
[info]wrmgrl

...You have Alton's pizza cutter
[info]wrmgrl

...You use the pizza cutter to cut everything from pizza to home-made marshmallows
[info]wrmgrl

...When talking about a bad way of cooking things you often say "And that's NOT Good Eats"
[info]wrmgrl

...If Alton uses a gadget on his show you rush right out and buy one
[info]wrmgrl

...You have a microplane (or hardware file) and use it for everything from lime zest to parm
[info]wrmgrl

...You have found a supplier for Alton's Rotatimer but are keeping it a secret for your greedy little self
[info]wrmgrl

...You've scoured e-Bay for the rocket tea kettle
[info]wrmgrl

...You have all of Alton's books, signed of course
[info]wrmgrl

...One of the reasons you are considering taking your fiance's name after you're married is it will make your initials AB
[info]wrmgrl

...You have converted your fiance into a Good Eats fan, but he's still a little jealous of AB
[info]wrmgrl

...you search watch websites and e-bay for that uber-cool black wristband watch[info]zambonigirl

You're a person prone to going off on tangents when talking, and you return from your tangent by saying "but ... that's another show."[info]hiddentracks

...you'd come up with more, but Good Eats is on!!

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